Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize