Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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