I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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