Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The beer is more important than you right now.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
