i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is Oprah even human
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
