Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
