Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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