Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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