Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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