i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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