He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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