We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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