need another drink. this is the easiest way
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
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