people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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