I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize