Yo dont text me then not text me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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