evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
