I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
