It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
