life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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