I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
