white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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