Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
