hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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