Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
