Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
