i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
