hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
