just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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