i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.