he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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