your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
