Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
