One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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