It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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