I can tuck mytits in my pants
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
