He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
