shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Watching her eat just hurts me
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
