i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
