Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
