Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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