We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
sarcasm needs its own font
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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