sarcasm needs its own font
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
