So drunk its hurt
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
