From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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