just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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