I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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