i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
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i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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