I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
