The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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