I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
