I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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