I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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