Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
