He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
did you just send me my own nude
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
