Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
