I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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