You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize