His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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