New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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