he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
