Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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