Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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