You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
