2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
