i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
