I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Jerry, you need to find god
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
